trevordayschool

or the most successful professional. Ultimately, it's all about kindness. It's about considering other people and where they're coming from. I hope we maintain Trevor as a place where kids can celebrate who they are, whatever their background is— socioeconomic, political, racial, ethnic; whatever their gender identity or sexuality; whatever their religion or lack thereof. Everyone has a place here. No community is perfect. I understand there are times that it isn't perfect. But that's what I've really tried to do here. You do it by hiring people who model those ideals. Who understands that the person across from them matters at all times. I've come to the conclusion that we have to bring hope to each other in the world. Especially now. And I think this is a very hopeful community. I'm going to miss it terribly. I really am. JW: I'm honored to be able to sit with you again after nine years and affirm that I have been a part of this community for all these years because there is such a culture of kindness and we have the whole Trevor faculty and staff to thank for that. Do you have any advice for Mr. Feigin as the new Head of School? SR: The advice I would offer is to stay connected to the kids. Because if you keep them at the center of everything you're doing, that's what we call in the strategic thinking business—the driving force. What it is that the children need within the mission of the school and its resources. That's what you have to provide. That's your responsibility. As the head of the school your responsibility is to secure the school's future. It is to lead. It is to inspire. It is to embody the mission of the school. Mr. Feigin has all that. He's all set with that. He is going in with his eyes wide open and completely ready for this. He is more ready to be the Head of the School than I was when I began at the Bancroft School 25 years ago. It took me a while, probably five years. It had to become my school. It's not going to take Mr. Feigin five years. He's gonna jump right in. It's already his school. JW: What do you want to do with your free time in retirement? SR: I am excited about expanding my ministry. When I am not at Trevor, I serve the people of Blessed Sacrament Church on the Upper West Side as their Deacon. But the thing I'm most excited about is spending more time with my wife, Anne, and my daughter, Hannah. Anne and I are planning to travel as much as we can. JW: I'm excited for you. We know that your sense of humor really takes the cake. Do you have any final jokes to impart? SR: I have a favorite, but it's a little long. OK, a duck walks into a coffee shop wearing a utility belt. He jumps up on the stool by the counter, takes off his utility belt and puts it on the stool next to him. He looks up at the waiter and says "I want a coffee and a donut." The waiter is amazed and says, "Did you just order a coffee and a donut?" The duck says, "Yes, I'm on break and I'd like a coffee and a donut." The waiter says "You're the most amazing creature I've ever seen—a talking duck!" The duck says, "Oh, yeah? Everyone in my family can talk." The waiter brings the duck a coffee and a donut. The duck finishes both, jumps off the stool, puts his belt back on, and walks out the front door. The next day at about the same time, the door swings open, the duck comes in, takes off his utility belt, puts it on the stool next to him, and says "I'll have a coffee and a donut". So they get to chatting while the duck eats his donut and drinks his coffee. When he's done, he puts his belt back on and leaves the coffee shop. This happens every single day for two weeks. One morning, a guy walks into the coffee shop looking gloomy. The waiter says "Well, sir, you seem to be upset about something." The guy says, "Yeah, I am. I work for Barnum & Bailey Circus. But nobody comes to the circus any more. We need more acts to attract crowds." So the waiter thinks for a minute and says, "Hey! I have an act for you! Every day at noon, the door swings open, and a duck wearing a utility belt orders a coffee and a donut and we have a long conversation." The guy says "What?! A talking duck?! The next time the duck comes in, give him my card." Noon comes around, and the door swings open, and in walks the duck. He flies up on the stool, takes off his utility belt, and says "I'll have a coffee and a donut." The waiter says, "Pal! I was just talking about you! This guy left his card here for you. He's from Barnum & Bailey Circus. They're setting up downtown." The duck says, "Oh yeah, I saw the tents going up." The waiter says, "Well, this guy said he could use you and you'd get paid a lot of money." The duck looks at the card quizzically and says, "Really? What would he want with a drywaller?" I don't know why, but it's the funniest thing I've ever heard. JW: Our doors will never be closed to you. SR: I've been very fortunate in my life to have several callings. The way I describe "calling" is where the needs of the world meet the talents you've been given or that you've built. My first calling was to be married, which continues. Fifty years ago on June 15th, Anne and I had our first date. My second calling was to become a father to our daughter. The third calling is THIS, what I do every day at Trevor, working with children. And my fourth is my call to ministry. I've been very very fortunate in life. I really have. Whatever I do next, I will keep these callings in focus. And I will always return to Trevor. JW: Trevor is unbelievably lucky to have you. SR: I've been the lucky one. I never imagined I would find this. I still pinch myself every morning. n 36 / TREVOR MAGAZINE SUMMER 2022–2023

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