As a child I was
somewhat eccentric.
I was energetic and loud, sometimes
sassy and rambunctious, yet at
the same time I had a softer, more
affectionate and observant side.
Finding beauty in the world around
me, specifically in art, soothed me.
And when I started creating art, I
found I could focus my abundant
energy into a specific goal. There
was a safety and deep satisfaction in
creating something with my mind
and body.
My first exposure to creating art
was through dance.
Countless hours of my childhood and adolescence
were spent in the ballet studio, training to be a classical
ballerina. There is a lot of queerness in the dance world,
but in classical ballet there were just two gendered roles:
the hyper-feminine ballerina and her hyper-masculine
supporter. Every day that I went to dance I was trained to
present myself as a hyper-masculine symbol of strength.
While I loved the feeling of creating this beautiful visual
and ethereal art, years and years of conditioning to
embody the role of the male dancer completely eradicated
the possibility of expressing myself in any other way. I
managed my struggle with conformity by focusing my
energy and eccentricities on performing masculinity.
It felt safe and often satisfying, but I knew it was not true
to who I am.
eccentric
TREVOR DAY SCHOOL / 63
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